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Finding Balance: Every Mother’s Struggle

February 22, 2021

How do you manage your day being so many people in one? An employee, a mother, a business woman, a wife, a student, a church servant, a friend, the perfect daughter…

Do you sometimes find yourself trapped doing all these things yet always feeling unfulfilled?

Finding a life balance not only gives you fulfillment; it also makes you profitable. You get time for innovation; networking; implementing and testing new ideas. You become fruitful in your field.

In a world that is so demanding, there’s only one you and we have no replacement for you. We understand you have your daily demands but would you please pause for a minute and listen to me?

I need you to be happier, healthier, stronger and generally better. But how can this happen?

Follow me as I bring you simple life hacks that can help you find your balance.

1.Find yourself: –

Who are you? What is this one thing you think you can’t live without? If your job title, your social security, pay slip, title deed, mortgage certificate, logbook, and certificate were taken away from you, who would you be?

This is the focus of your life. This is you.

Realize you are precious and valuable as a person even without all you have.

We take for-granted what others find a privilege. Acknowledge you will still be you even if everything was stripped of you.

I like this analogy of the value of a note, let’s say a dollar note, if you stepped on it, or squeezed it to fit into a tiny pocket, when you get it out, how much will it be worth?

It’s still a dollar. Am I right?

What about you? When your life bombards you with responsibilities and un-called for disappointments, do you lose your value? Of course not. But, you need to realize this and invest in yourself.

Love yourself so hard that no one can bring you down.

Many times we lose ourselves in other people’s expectations. We find ourselves struggling to meet our budget, to manage our time well, to get time for ourselves.

You need to know who you are, what you want and what matters to you. By the end of the day; you are you.

2.Find your secret energizer: –

Think about this for a moment. What brings you total calmness?

For me, it’s a long evening walk, to another a drive in the suburbs, to someone else is staring at the waves of the sea, to others it’s music and to others a movie.

Whatever it is, find it. Then when your body starts to feel weary, step aside from your busy schedule and indulge. It doesn’t have to be anything inimitable, just re-fuelling.

Life is short. You don’t want to live it in regret.

Recently a young mother drove right into a school van. When asked what happened, she said she was lost in thoughts. Don’t fall victim.

You need to find time and refresh. Don’t wait to do that in a jail cell or a hospital bed.

3.Plan your day: –

A day is less messy when things are put in order. The small tasks we find easy and unnecessary to plan are the ones that end up being a humongous backlog. Instill a planning discipline for every minute of your day. Include time to rest. Are you serious? Yes. In fact, plan for quiet time and rest separately so that each task gets its worthwhile results.

Use your resting time to play or take a nap and then get some separate time to pray or meditate. These are two different activities that will refuel you.

Working haphazardly leaves us with many tasks half-way done and no sense of accomplishment. By the end of the day, you are tired and unfulfilled. This leads to stress and less and less motivation to work.

I understand this is a habit many need to create. It takes time to change your day’s pattern but trust me, the efforts are rewarding.

Have a plan for your day and tiny goals to work towards, reward yourself every-time you accomplish something no matter how small.

Get a small notebook for writing your plans and goals, first thing when you wake up, write what you need to accomplish for the day. Carry it with you wherever you go and whenever you accomplish something, give yourself a star, give yourself five stars for every time you outdo your expectations.

This way, you not only keep track of your activities but you become your own motivator.

Remember to review your day before you sleep and commit to new tasks that need to be attended to.

4.Ask and accept support: –

Sometimes we feel all-sufficient to do all that we are required to do. Unfortunately, life is very demanding. For you to succeed; you probably won’t have any time for friends and family. If you do all you have to do alone. Most probably, you will have no time for yourself.

If you are a leader in your scope, learn to delegate. Delegation gives you time to focus on your key duties giving you the ability to creatively attend to your most important chores.

I like this saying “no man is an island”, it reminds me that I need to connect with people. Even if there’s only one person who seems to understand me, then I should reach out to them and let them be a source of strength for me.

Sometimes we shy off from sharing our weaknesses with people we know. Luckily for us, today, there are scores of people, groups and forums online where we can share our low moments and find solace. You may not know any of the members one on one but for sure you will get support and encouragement.

I do this from time to time and it works perfectly for me since I don’t end up looking over my shoulder to see who is back biting me.

5.Follow your impulse: –

Some people say that this is a ‘women thing’. Maybe it is. If you can make that call the minute you remember or note down your thoughts immediately you think of something, you will save a lot of time because your to do list will be ready way before you know it.

The demands of deadlines and recovering lost time mostly are as a result of postponing very simple things. Sometimes you think, I still got time to reply that email or to book that appointment then so many activities derail you such that you either miss that deadline or remember it last minute when you need to rush and work under pressure to beat time.

Save yourself from the trap of procrastination, act on your heart’s beat. The minute that quiet voice says “I should do this”, just do it.

6.Take time to reflect: –

Today, worry, anxiety, pessimism, fear, doubt and hate fill the air. There’s more competition than ever before. The demand to be a better mother, a better daughter, a better friend is all on a weighing scale and you probably receive more condemnation in a day than the commendation you get all week long.

How do you remain sober? How do you keep your cool?

You need to get a few minutes each day to review how you are holding up. Allow yourself to savor in the good times and mourn the bad times and then find healing in that, after all the discouragements, you are still moving on.

I like reflecting in the shower, I take the longest evening shower and my family knows it. This for me is my moment. As the water runs down my spine, it washes away every feeling of anger, every disappointment of the day, sometimes I cry, sometimes I laugh but by the time I come out, I am renewed.

Be your own best friend. When you look in your mirror and see scars, don’t criticize them as everyone else, remind yourself that those are marks of victory. Celebrate every small win and do not let the failures pull you down. In that reflection room, turn your failures into lessons and walk out better, stronger and affirmed.

I won’t promise you that the demands are in any way reducing but I can tell you these action points will improve your life. These are not all there is am sure. Share with us your life hacks and let’s be each others’ keeper.

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